A Different Type of Sparkle
It seems that out in Malaysia five-day celebrations dedicated to Goddess Bahuchara Mataji, the Hindu presiding deity for transsexuals, ended yesterday in a ceremony that saw some 400 participants from Malaysia and Singapore at a temple in Pandamaran.
TG Discussion
I’m tired and I want to go to bed, but I have to dump what’s on my mind because there seems to be TG areas of the net that are simmering and would appear to be on the point of boiling over.
I haven’t read all the discussions but I’m referring to two flickr groups - TrannyFlickr and The Transgendered Generation.
It seems that these groups are in turmoil because of the amount of pictures of a similiar subject matter being posted to them, which some members feel is excessive. Discussions have turned into abusive slanging matches, which I can only describe as undignified. OK, I can think of a few more adjectives, but I’ll leave it there. I believe this situation has stemmed from a basic lack of respect on both sides.
Surely there is a straightforward solution to these issues? There are rules for these groups, right? Yes there are.
Group rules for The Transgendered Generation:
1. No spamming or spamming of pictures: any pic posted to more than ten groups will be deleted.
2. Friendly debate is encouraged, but personal attacks or trollish behaviour will not be tolerated.
3. The administration staff must interpret and uphold these rules for the benefit of the group.”
First, the first rule mentioned here doesn’t say that numerous pictures of similiar poses is disallowed. So it’s permissable for members to do this. Feel free to disagree if you believe I’ve got this wrong.
Secondly, rule number 2 has been infringed many times hence the acrimony.
Thirdly, as there have been so many infringements of rule number 2 why haven’t the moderators taken the appropriate action and expelled the offenders?
To my mind it’s simple. The owners of the group set the rules. If the rules need to be refined for clarification it is the owners responsibility to do just that.
Members should respect the rules and if they don’t like them they should move on. Possibly even form their own groups with their own rules.
But the real reason this situation has arisen is lack of respect on both sides.
A classic example of this is one person’s insistence on referring to other members as “he” when clearly the other person would prefer to be referred to as “she”.
And this is where we get to the nub. Although the insulter is technically correct in referring to the other person as “he” that other person wants to be referred to as “she”. It’s how they percieve themselves to be in that role.
My wife always used to refer to a TS friend of mine as “he” until I finally got through to her that although my friend had not had the operation her preferred gender role was that of female, she lived full-time in the female role, and that out of respect she should be addressed or referred to as “her” or “she”. If you respect someone you respect their wishes. It has nothing to do with the physical state of play and everything to do with respect.
Finally, there are those that feel the actions of certain group members are unacceptable and cause the majority of society to view transgendered people as perverts. That may be the case, but since when has society thought particularly clearheadedly and got it right? Let’s face it, nature loves diversity and society hates it.
The solution here is to distance oneself if that is how one feels, but hurling cheap insults like “Most trannies are stupid” or words to that effect isn’t very helpful. Stupidity or intelligence is relative and using either quality as an insult only reflects poorly on the giver of the insult.
And it’s not like people have a choice regarding their intelligence, rather like the question of their gender identity.
Gertting back to the point, in the case of these Flickr groups let the moderators get their rules in order and enforce them. And let those members who infringe or disagree with the rules move on.
I think we need to bring out the adult a little more in all of us, yes?
Transgender Children
I came across this video on Joanna’s site. Please watch it, particularly if you are not transgendered yourself. But also if you are and have issues you need to sort out. This is serious stuff put across very well.
To put a personal perspective on all this, I got to the age of 40 before I had my transgender issues sorted, and although I wouldn’t say the issues were of a traumatic nature for me it certainly had a negative effect on my life/lifestyle.
Issues like deception, keeping it from family mainly. Doing what I did secretly. Feelings of isolation. Feelings that this was wrong. Knowing that what I did would be disapproved of. Worrying about whether this was a perversion, society in general seeing it as a disease/illness. None of this was understood in the 60s and 70s and society is only just becoming aware of the real issues. And, as ever, education is the key.
The people behind the production of this video deserve our support.
I’m just grateful that we’re moving forward, and society’s education today will mean a happier life for young transgendered people today and in the future.
But I have another hope. People will stop seeing us as transgendered and accept that gender is a spectrum, not a binary system. Some binary systems are good, such as computer ones, but it doesn’t work for gender. When society comes to terms with this it will be the dawning of a new day.