Are we so different?
Originally uploaded by rachelw80
I did a photo-shoot with Nikki and Tracey of Trans Femme down in Swindon at the weekend. Long drive, I know, but worth it I think. You can judge for yourself by looking at the photo-shoot collection on Flickr.
I don’t want rabbit on here about all the ins and outs of it, because you can read my ‘blow by blow’ account here. And I was jammy enough to get an interview out of Nikki and Tracey for my site, so you can read that here.
No, I feel the high I’ve been experiencing since the weekend highlights the way women probably feel when they get all dressed up to go out somewhere special. It’s not a sexual thing, although they may feel sexy, but it’s that feeling, an inner glow, like you’re beaming. It’s difficult (for me anyway) to put into words. And it’s a million miles away from some of the stereotypical images the t- world has created.
I’ve long felt that looks shouldn’t matter, but I can’t get over the way these images have made me feel about myself, it’s a bit disconcerting really. I guess, I’ve overlooked the power of self-image - just hope I don’t become too self-obsessed about it all now.
But god does it feel good. It’s times like these when I give myself a nudge to remind myself that I shouldn’t be too critical of my partner and two daughters when they hog the bathroom and en-suite for what seems like hours on end. :)
on January 29th, 2008 at 9:38 pm
A lovely set of photos…it is amazing what a set of lights and a lens can do for our psyche!
Enjoy!
alan
on February 1st, 2008 at 9:53 pm
> but it’s that feeling, an inner glow
Absolutely. I think most folk get an inner smile out of looking good regardless of their sex or gender. After all, who wants to look like a gonk all day everyday? :-D It looks like you had a great time.
Some great photos in that stream. How many DVDs did you need to save them all? ;-)
on February 2nd, 2008 at 9:51 am
Alan and Lynn: Sorry I haven’t replied sooner.It’s been a bit of a week.
Alan: Nikki and Tracey certainly did a fantastic job of the make-up and photography. Shame about the raw materials.
Lynn: I agree, but I can never get excited about my male clothes, there we go. And yes, I had a fabulous time.
I’ll have you know they went onto two CDs you cheeky mare. :)
on February 2nd, 2008 at 7:42 pm
There is nothing wrong with the raw materials! #217 would rival anything ever shot of Garbo in her heyday!!! There are many many nice ones, but that one is fantastic, and it’s you that makes it that way!
alan
on February 2nd, 2008 at 11:23 pm
Thanks Alan. I might as well say so here, for the record, I’m lousy at accepting compliments.
Sometimes I even make what I think are witty remarks to play down a compliment and end up offending the very person who has taken the trouble to give it, which is never my intention.
I hope it doesn’t sound big-headed, but I’ve had a lot of compliments from various quarters lately so my reactions have been bothering me to the extent that I’ve edited my responses to make amends.
I guess I’m just not used to it. It troubles me that I may not be responding in a way that truly expresses my appreciation. And it’s also difficult to come up with different ways of expressing that appreciation. How many times can you say “Thank you” before it starts to sound repetitve?
I hope this doesn’t sound like I’m whinging because I’m really not.
Can I just say I’ve been really touched by all the nice things people have said. I’ll shut up now.
on February 3rd, 2008 at 3:27 pm
> cheeky mare. :)
LOL. Sorry. I couldn’t resist.
I know what you mean about compliments (not that I get that many and no, I’m not fishing for them now). I wonder if it’s that famous British reserve that makes us both elate and cringe when someone pays us a compliment? It is hard to say thanks in different ways, but I think it’s the feeling behind them rather than the wordage that makes the difference.
on February 8th, 2008 at 11:49 am
Rach!!
I’m gob-smacked. You ‘ve had some excellent and lovely photos in the past but these are incredible. Is it really you? They really bring out the beautiful woman in you! If I can look half as glamorous ,stunningly feminine and dare I say it, flirty, as you do then I will be more than delighted.
I especially liked the ones were you were smiling and teasing the photographer. Move over Kate Moss.
I am so pleased for you. I can only imagine how great it must feel to see the results of having that shoot done.
Can I ask
1. How does your partner feel about it.
2. How are you gonna cope with unwanted admirers?
Julie
xx
on February 10th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
Funnily enough Vanessa said she didn’t recognise me, too.
It’s true, as I relaxed into the shoot I was consciously trying to flirt with the camera, and I think some of the shots worked out really well.
And yes, I’m over the moon with the results. :)
I haven’t shown my partner. I think the better I look the more peeved she’d be in all honesty. So I’m erring on the side of caution. She knows I’ve had the photoshoot, but unless she asks I’m not going to say anything.
Unwanted admirers have been dealt with politely, but firmly. No real trouble there, touch wood.
A word of warning - photoshoots are addictive. I’m not saying anything yet, but the next one will be different. Still going to be Trans Femme doing the makeup and taking the shots though.
on February 15th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Hey Rachel. Only just caught up with your blog as I have been out of the loop for a while.
Fantastic photos, love them. And that red dress of yours is nothing short of sublime! Have to say the (new?) long hair looks great too.
I’m not good at accepting compliments either and know exactly where you are coming from when you say you try to play them down and end up offending someone. If I had a pound for every time ……………….