TV Dreams

There’s been a recent post by Siobhan over on tranniefesto.co.uk that struck a few chords with me - it’s all to do with other terms for the word transvestite. It’s well worth reading, but read the comments as well.

It has to be said, my thoughts have changed so many times regarding the whole trans terminology “thing” that I’ve been confused as hell about it all. But…

Here goes. I did like the term T-Girl or tgirl, whatever, because I felt it covered the full spectrum. It’s an all encompassing term I assumed wouldn’t offend anyone. Sometime later I decided it shouldn’t be tgirl but tgurl, because we’re not girls/women (sorry for stating the obvious). After that in the last few months I got to thinking just “gurl” would hit the mark because it says we’re not real girls/women, so no need for the “T”.

In the last few days new experiences have been evolving. On Flickr I added a woman, whose comments struck a cord with me, as a new contact. We got into conversation and because she said she was a bit confused about who was who on my flickrstream I decided to be blunt and say I’m a transvestite. I’m sure she probably knew this. Since then we been chatting and it doesn’t seem to have made a blind bit of difference.

Not only that, it seems female contacts of this woman are now adding me to their contacts list. And you know what, if it’s necessary I’ll just say I’m a transvestite. After all it is the most accurate term that I know of to describe who I am in the context of wearing a dress or whatever.

It seems though that as a community we’re none too keen on the term because of perceived negative connotations, but I think I’m finally getting over that one. In short, I think I can safely say I’m getting to be proud of the term. Obviously, I still choose who I’m going to let on to, but that’s down to family and work circumstances.

Going back to Flickr, I’ve decided not to restrict my social intercourse to other transvestites. I mean, let’s face it, some of the rows that have surfaced of late are becoming incredibly tedious.

I know I can be very slow on the uptake at times, but Siobhan’s recent comments about engaging with the rest of society has struck a new chord with me. Just don’t expect me to make a crusade out of it, coz I’m not or try not to be a political animal - I’m far too apathetic and prefer to keep my head below the ramparts.

However, there is another related issue. Whether to use he or she when referring to ourselves or other transvestites/transexuals. I feel it’s obvious all mtf transexuals ought to be referred to as she/her.

And to be honest I do for transvestites as well if only because it feels weird to me to refer to Rachel as he or him. Yes I know I’m male but it still feels strange to refer to a male as he/him when I’m addressing them by the name they use when dressed as a woman… Hi Rachel, he’s wearing a lovely dress. No, it doesn’t seem to fit.

On the other hand, if we’re not deluding ourselves about the fact that we’re transvestites then logically where’s the problem with referring to ourselves as he/him when dressed. And going a stage further why the need to adopt a female name.

Of course, one reason to do this is to disguise our male identity for fear of public humiliation. Particularly where other family members are concerned. A solution might be to change our first names to a unisex one like Kim, Chris or whatever. Then again questions may be asked as to why we chose to do that.

Clearly I’ll have to think on on the issue of names, but just consider this to be an update on where my thinking is right now. :)

Be a happy transvestite or transexual!