TV Dreams

For those of you who don’t know, BNO stands for The Big Night Out and is a TV Chix event hosted by Jennifer English and Simon Ross. I went to my first one in November last year and ran into Pam who lives but 2 miles away from me!

But before we get into what happened at the club, I must tell you about a couple of ‘firsts’ I had before we arrived. OK, if this sounds a bit Trannie Checklisty just get over it, coz it probably is. :)

Having left Vanessa’s, with me being crammed in the back of her new XK, we headed off to Sainsburys to get some dosh from the ATM. But by the time we got there I was in agony from being squeezed into the back seats, and having to double up coz of lack of headroom. Of course, the waist clincher I was wearing didn’t help!

Anyhow, by the time we reached the ATM I’d successfully pleaded to be taken back to pick up my car. Now, Rachel’s never been to an ATM  before, let alone in a shiny gold lycra mini-dress and 4″ strappy sandals, so Jan (V’s husband) came with me, bless him. Just as well really. A group of lads aged about 16-19 turned up and all I got out of them were a few cheeky grins.

The second first (if you see what I mean) was filling up at a petrol station, and paying in the shop. This time I was the only one about and Jan stayed in the Jag while I went into pay. I have to say, I was a little bit nervous, but it was a lady serving and I just spoke naturally and we exchanged a few words about the freezing cold weather. That was it, no big deal!

Getting back to BNO, the place was heaving with trannies. We made our way to the top floor and found a place to sit. At least the club has a floor that’s not so noisy, because trying to hold a conversation on the floor below is well nigh impossible.

Now I’ve heard it said by some (who shall remain nameless, unless they wish to own up) that BNO is a meat market, but to those who feel this way I’d just say, “But a very nice one, nevertheless”. I mean, first time to the bar I had my arse felt by a gurl, and when I turned round her friend denied responsibility and explained she would have grabbed it much more firmly, and proceeded to demonstrate. Two feel ups and before I’d got to the bar. Personally, I feel they were overcome by the dress, not the contents.

And before I could get away from the bar a another gurl stopped to chat (hi Jodie) and assaulted my ears with compliments (very strange) but it only transpired that she wanted sex with someone, and when I explained it wouldn’t be with me to her credit she didn’t try to escape so we chatted for quite a while - actually I got to like her honest approach to life in general - nice gurl. Anyway,  hopefully you found what you were looking for hon. ;)

I was having all sorts of problems with my boobs going South and was cursing having bought a very expensive pair of self-adhering ones, but when I got back to V’s it became apparent that the dress was playing a major part in their downfall. Note to self: wear a strapless bra next time… and lose a few pounds (working on it).

I had a 10am meeting so called it a day at 03:45. Up at 07:00 and away by 08:30.

Must do another BNO real soon. :)