October 2004
06/10/04 - Talked to Vanessa last night and she commented that I ought to go on a fitness regime, eat more healthily, which should help with a more positive attitude, she's right. Too much of a Desk Jockey these days.
07/10/04 - Went for a cycle ride this morning, just half-an-hour - felt terrible, lied down on the bed and got to thinking...
Fed up with having to hide Rachel. It's not that I want to go full time, TS or anthing like that, but things like wondering if folk are wondering when my nails grow long, or if they'll notice my eyebrows are slightly thinner than usual.
Mind you, if I did tell those that know me I'd have to tell the children first, and I can't see my wife agreeing to any of that. And then would I loose her support when it comes to going out, coz she's always 'covered' for me, and been happy to see me go and enjoy myself.
Elevenish - Vanessa called with some momentous news (and no, I'm not saying). Told her how I felt. She reminded me of what a big step it would be, and I suppose she's right. And this is from someone who was outed by her ex-wife to all family and friends. Did her a real favour, I reckon.
Guess I won't do anything rash for now.
08/09/04 - Had a wierd dream last night. I was doing a powerpoint presentation to a roomful of people, and it was all about my life as a T-Girl.
It had the works, how I started, how I developed and where I am now.
People came up to me afterwards congratulating me and I saw faces in the dream I hadn't seen in years. One particular person, Katie (RG) who I haven't seen in years, and can't remember where I know her from, but the face was so vivid.
I think I need to get out again since I don't dress at home anymore...