February 2003
05/02/03 - As usual, when not changing at Vanessa's I look to change at the venue I'm visiting, or if it happens to be Manchester then friends let me change at their place.
But this evening things took a different turn. Tonight I'd decided to go to a North Notts Trans Action group meeting over in Sutton-in-Ashfield, north of Nottingham.
The family were out and it was getting late for the start of the meeting.
I don't know what came over me, but I suppose the thought of arriving late and then getting changed and having not much of the evening left turned thoughts to other things.
Until now I had never left home fully dressed, the reason being fear of bumping into the neighbours. But it was dark by now and we live on a quiet road so I thought, "What the heck" and got on with it.
I decided to wear what I'd worn on my last outing to the Pink Punters, long black suede skirt, frilly neck black sweater, low heeled black suede shoes and my fluffy cardigan. Very much what you're average real girl might wear.
So, before getting ready I parked the car by the side gate and went to get changed. Half an hour later and half an hour before the family were due home I left by the back door, checked the street from the safety of the back garden and when all was quiet slipped silently into the driver's seat.
Was I nervous? You bet! Until I had pulled out onto the main road I was dreading someone coming along who would recognise me.
After that it was plain sailing, except for one thing. I could go one of two routes, the longer one was the less risky, because I could avoid all human contact 'til I got to the group meeting.
The other way meant going over a manned toll bridge. But before I reached the point on the journey where I would have to choose I decided that I had the right to go where I wanted and I'd take the risk of any embarrassment - after all, I thought, "They can't shoot me for it".
So, I had my money ready, remembering the price had just gone up, and headed towards the toll bridge. Once there I realised the place was floodlit. Oh dear! Well, it was too late now, no turning back.
The man took my money, said, "Thanks Luv", and that was it! I was now looking forward to going through again on the return journey!
The directions Jackie had given me were fine and I arrived about 8:30pm. Apart from the initial surprise when they opened the door and didn't recognise me, because they weren't expecting me, everything was fine.
And yes, that offer of a cuppa was very welcome.
We all spent the evening chatting away, discussing many aspects of our personal situations and offering encouragement and support to those who weren't so sure about what to do.
I've been to one or two meetings like this and they can get a bit heavy, but what I liked about this one was the lively and friendly atmosphere, no doubt helped along by Charlie's fantastic attitude.
BTW, Charlie started the North Notts Trans Action group and it now has a group based down near Bristol and one up in Scotland. Anyway, you can find details on the 'Support Groups' page of the 'links' section.
I got talking to Sally Jo who, it turned out, had also travelled from my area, so we agreed to come next month together and share the petrol. Sally Jo had an early start so she shot off about 11:30pm.
I stayed on to chat to Charlie, Tasha and a few others, eventually deciding to change and leave about 01:00am. Another ridiculously late night!
Would I leave home again, dressed? Probably.