TV Dreams

Tranny Mentoring

Rachel — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 18:14:00 +0000

Probably not the first to think of it, and definitely not the last. But what about a list of girls that would be prepared to "mentor" other trannys. I mean, just being there for support, possibly encouraging trannies new to the scene, accompanying them out on their first excursions.

I don't mean this as a systematic way of getting new trannies out on the scene, but where a trannie would like help and encouragement to take those first nerve-wracking steps a mentor could provide moral and practical support.

Of course, it wouldn't be confined to going out - just talking on the phone or meeting in a pub in male mode could make all the difference to a less experienced tranny.

I suppose some may say that this would just encourage and foster the checklist mentality, but I was thinking more of a situation where those in need of encouragement could contact a mentor as and when they feel the need.

How would it work? Well, maybe sites like UK Angels, TV Chix or Roses could provide a mentor field in their databases so that members could indicate their willingness to act as one, and of course "untick" their mentor box as and when so there is no pressure.

Just a thought...

Big Brother and the Media

Rachel — Sun, 07 Jan 2007 11:23:00 +0000

On account of my two daughters wanting to watch Big Brother last night and my wife having nothing else she wanted to watch I was out-voted. So I put myself through the ordeal.

Apart from the usual drivel two media related issues surfaced that really galled me.

First, let me set the scene. BB told the household that the members must choose three of them to stay in the "luxury" of the main part of the house and eight had to leave and be incarcerated in "squalid" surroundings.

Being the nice bunch that they are they let Ken Russell, Jermaine Jackson and Shilpa stay behind. What they didn't know was that the three left behind would be up for eviction, see where this is going? There's more.

Next, we see Jade and boyfriend enter the house followed shortly by her mother. BB then asked Jade to read out another set of instructions, which ordered the other members in the "squalid" area to wait "hand and foot" on the members in the main area.

Hang in there, we're getting nearer to what pissed me off. Once the members in the squalid area got to find out what was happening Donny decided he wasn't going to let himself in for being made to look stupid, or humiliated - his choice. So he pulls off a clever stunt. He gets another member to give him a "leg up", gets onto the roof and escapes.

And this is when BB comes up with their crass announcement. Donny has forfeited his right to stay in the house, because he has had contact with the outside world. Excuse me, just a minute, Donny left because he didn't want to take part in an arse-hole of a game, which affords sick and purile entertainment for those in need of that sort of "diversion". Good on ya, Donny. It's a shame more people don't get up and walk out of that house. And that's just typical of the media, trying to make themselves look good despite the shit that clings to them.

And let's face it, all BB do, it seems to me, is set up confrontational situations so that the public can enjoy the degradation and humiliation of people who put themselves up for a stay in the house... for whatever reasons.

Secondly, and more laughable is that, according to Jade, the papers have said she's the 25th most influential person in the world, not that she could pronounce the word "influential" and she even said she didn't know what it meant (all credit to her for admitting it). Of course, I'm assuming this nonsense wasn't peddled by the broadsheets, but a.) do we have people in this country that would actually believe that (apart from jade, maybe) and b.) what do these editors have between their ears that such ludicrous statements should be published in the first place?

Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeez. Needless to say you won't find me watching this drivel, unless I'm out-voted again and can't be arsed to go do the washing-up. See, there's a more worthwhile activity - washing-up.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr

Blogspot or Blackspot

Rachel — Sat, 06 Jan 2007 18:24:00 +0000

Just tried to check out three blogs, all hosted on blogspot.com.

Guess what. They're down. Blogspot is down, again. Reminds me, must do a rant about what you get for nothing, zilch, free - like data allocation running out on free web space. Unreliability, quality of service issues.

Damn, don't have time now...

Time for a bit of housekeeping

Rachel — Sat, 06 Jan 2007 17:54:00 +0000

It all started with deciding to get rid of the Amazon experiment at the top of my web pages. I had a banner listing a number of books/products.

Amazon have been experimenting with Google-type ads. That is, relevant ones that reflect the content of a page. Well, as far as I can see, it's been a dismal failure; precious few of the ads had any kind of relevancy at all. So out it went.

Next, I thought, add the Google ads back in... and so the half-hearted attempt at a gallery disappeared from the right-hand column and you now have Google back in residence. Must say, relevancy hath returned.

After that I've checked out a few links in my links section and cut adrift the dead wood. I need more time to do a proper job, but at least a start has been made. :)

I've had an idea for the dreaded gallery but in the meantime, as a token gesture, I've added a few piccies to the masthead.

I doubt this blog will get a facelift to bring the design in keeping with the rest of the site. If I was going to that length I'd replace Blogger with a better application, and that'll have to wait.

Slow but sure... :)

New Year's Eve Highlights

Rachel — Tue, 02 Jan 2007 17:02:00 +0000

The journey down to my niece's place wasn't the disaster it could have been had we taken the suggested AA route (see previous post). And by way of a small detour we drove round Headington and Oxford so my wife could point out the various landmarks to our eldest, should she follow in her mother's footsteps.

It's been a long time since we last visited Oxford, and I'm not sure how well my memory serves me, but there seemed to be a lot more one-way systems than I recall, but then again that could be true of a lot of other cities.

A bit of a trip down memory lane for my wife and I, but the girls were suitably unimpressed, unencumbered by the baggage of nostalgia, whilst we took in Divinity Road, Cowley Road, St. Giles, The Carfax, Randolph Hotel, Blackwells and the Ashmolean, which is undergoing a £49 million redevelopment. Not to mention other buildings that had sprouted since our last visitation.

The wife and I reminisced about students doing moonies on Magdelan Bridge of a May morning (6am and we hadn't been to bed) in front of an unappreciative policeman. Unfortunately, there was no mistaking the looks of boredom from the siblings.

Quitting while we were ahead we headed off south to Reading; this was the most exciting part of the journey as we experienced floods (villages where every door on the high street was sand-bagged) and kamikaze drivers who didn't know the meaning of giveway signs.

The evening consisted of the usual filling of faces, a few decent bottles of red got opened and despatched. Oh, and I got introduced to carpet bowls. An excellent game of skill, at which I was undefeated. Another highlight was the fresh walnuts from the tree in the garden - shop bought just not the same.

We had the obligatory champagne at midnight and fell into bed about 2am. I awoke at 8am to the smell of fresh baked bread wafting into the bedroom: Not this "shove it in the oven for 20 minutes" crap, properly baked bread, using a Panasonic SD253. Apparently, the only decent bread making device available on the market at the moment. And with the plum jam from my sister's garden, aided and abetted by freshly ground coffee in a mug. I think I can safely say breakfast doesn't come much better than that.

For lunch, another culinery delight was the broccoli soup and freshly baked bread to go with it. My niece's partner can definitely cook. And since they are the nearest central geographical location for the extended family I can see a few more New Year's Eve's being spent there - result.

Now, what have we got to look forward to in 2007? A diet?

Another Year Another Yen

Rachel — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 14:15:00 +0000

Yeah, crap title.

Really looking forward to 2007. Probably coz of the mood I'm in. Hey, can't be any worse, can it? Hopefully not.

We (the family) are off to Reading tomorrow. Festive family fun at one of the relations, my eldest niece, KG. If the plan works out we'll get down to Reading, have a look round (any suggestions) and make our way to KG's for lunch.

Her and her partner recently bought another house in the area, so who knows what state it'll be in. Been assured we'll have a bed to sleep in, though. :)

Since my Mum died New Year tends to happen anywhere between Lincoln and the south coast, so this year isn't too bad for travelling.

But why does the AA route planner suggest going to Reading via the M25 - er, no thanks guys. Going to be ambitious and head off down to Leicester, Northampton and take the A43 to the M42, skirt Oxford and pick up what looks like a tortuous A road for the final 30 miles. If it takes less than three hours it'll be no worse than the road to hell.

Anyhows - hope you all have a great time and don't end up with the mother of all hangovers. :)

On a Clear Day

Rachel — Fri, 29 Dec 2006 17:59:00 +0000

On a Clear Day
Originally uploaded by rachelw80.

So that was Christmas. Was it worth it? Yes, but it's gone now and all that's left is this shitty feeling. Has returning to the office to do something constructive worked? Nope. Read a few blogs, caught up with the Trannie World. Done nothing.

Where's V, no answer. Was supposed to be arranging meeting up with a few T-Friends between Christmas and New Year, but family fun took over, and given my record for making space for family time there's been no choice in the matter. So apologies to all concerned - you know who you are, and hopefully 2007 will be a better year for get-togethers.

Christmas was good. But the last couple of days have been weird. Lots of thinking time about "the" relationship in my life. There are always "rights" and "wrongs" and being on the inside makes it almost impossible to untangle them all and come to any sort of sane conclusion.

But maybe another piece of the relationship jigsaw slotted into place yesterday.

Having lunch, and at some point my eldest made a derogatory remark to me; asked her why she was being so rude. She said no offence meant (one of her favourite phrases is, "no offence, but...") anyway, found my wife's remarks enlightening. "You want to try to get out of that habit, L, while you can, unlike me." I'd never thought of my wife's less than complementary remarks in the same light, but maybe she does. Curious.

And why am I still here, in this relationship? If I said I didn't know I'd be kidding myself...

Emotional security for the girls
Financial security for the family
Financial security for me
Financial security for my business

And as if reading my mind before Christmas, my wife suggested I was hanging on 'til the youngest was 18 after which I'd be off. What she got wrong was the notion that I'd be heading down the TS road. She obviously still feels insecure about where I'm positioned on the Transgender spectrum. Still, she got an honest answer out of me... "It had crossed my mind from time to time."

Problem is, there never seems to be a good time to break up a family. And maybe I never will.

So what do I do? I know, go home, drink a half-bottle of wine, get nagged about the fact when she gets in from work at ten tonight.

Bollocks, everything still feels weird.

Last blog before Christmas

Rachel — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 10:58:00 +0000

Can't see me finding the time to blog again before the weekend so enjoy yourselves and have a great New Year.

Well, that meal I mentioned on Monday wasn't in a country pub, instead we stayed in Newark town centre.

Given I live in the next town, when Vanessa suggested a nearby Chinese restaurant I felt a little nervous. I suppose, because although I was in male mode it could have proved awkward had I bumped into any business associates.

Thing is when you look at the reality of the TG situation very, very few of us can pass 100%, 100% of the time, and Vanessa does get read occasionally. I needn't have worried though, didn't see any familiar faces. Instead, we had a long natter about the wedding, her family, the XK she's got on order (coming in Jan.) and a few other things I won't bore you with.

All in all a very relaxing evening. Nice thing is I don't have to get dressed to enjoy myself with V, and of course how she looks is her natural way of things.

And this is what I find so positive about her. She works as a locum in the legal profession, is meeting new people in a work environment on a weekly basis, and hasn't had to deal with any negative attitudes since she went full-time as Vanessa.

In fact, she's had fewer work-related problems since being Vanessa. And I believe it's her attitude and confidence that makes the difference. I mean, for all the endless debates about the feelings of TSs and the rights and wrongs of their situations, at the end of the day she's someone who just gets on with it.

Attitude does help!

On a happier note

Rachel — Mon, 18 Dec 2006 17:01:00 +0000

Seeing V tomorrow. She's working close by, and we'll probably go to a country pub for a meal. I won't get the opportunity to go dressed, but no worries.

Although, as usual, when the stress levels are high it would have been nice...

Depending on your view...

Rachel — Mon, 18 Dec 2006 15:33:00 +0000

Christmas is a good or bad time of year. A perrenial conundrum, for some anyway.

For me, I'm feeling weird about it. Detached. Like I'm here, but not for my family. I'm told what family want for Christmas, I write cheques, I'll be there on the day. But that's about it.

I feel no sense of anticipation, no sense of what's going on, only a sense of whether I'll have time, whether I'll need to work between Christmas and New Year. It was the same last year and the year before... I'm dreading it. The snide comments about whether I'm even interested in what's going on. TBH it hurts.

I don't consider our family to be materialistic, but sometimes I think they forget that if they want a certain level of lifestyle it has to be paid for. Maybe I should just say no, leave the office on time, and say (mentally) "Sod it" to clients. And then say no to the children when they want a better bike, mobile phone or whatever. But they're children and I want them to enjoy Christmas.

Being self-employed, I struggle with saying "no" to clients, so the tendency is to take too much on, and end up constantly under deadline pressures. I don't know what the answer is quite frankly, and at this time of year it gets me down. Instead of enjoying the break I end up feeling I'll be "hung" by clients if I don't go back to work, "Drawn" by family if I do, and "Quartered" regardless, by myself, trying to decide what to do for the best.

If you the reader are employed/unemployed I don't expect you to understand what it feels like, but if you're self-employed I don't want your sympathy, but any practical suggestions wouldn't go amiss.

Anyway, Happy Christmas to everyone. :)

And congratulations to Simon and Jane.

Have I mentioned Ms Raven before?

Rachel — Fri, 08 Dec 2006 19:01:00 +0000

A promo video for Bat out of Hell 3. I know Clarissa mentioned this before, but couldn't find her post, so I can't link to it, sorry.

A talented songwriter, writing for other well-known groups and only 22. A voice like Jennifer Warnes, and very easy on the eye. She released an album called Here I Am. Just ordered it off Amazon. As for Bat out of Hell 3 - haven't we heard it all before?

Is it an insult or a compliment?

Rachel — Fri, 08 Dec 2006 16:31:00 +0000

Pharking or shea-ing, wot's the diff?

What I found curious and wasn't quite sure about was the comment in the last paragraph...

“It sounds like some kind of space age transgender plastic surgery.” Torchwood gets a mention too, which may interest some of you.

Wonder if Siobhan has an opinion?

Wow! That was the week that was...

Rachel — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 10:41:00 +0000

This last week has been a bit of an emotional roller-coaster. My best friend, Vanessa, got married at the weekend and it proved an interesting lead up to the event.

If you want to know more it's in my diary.

Keeping Abreast

Rachel — Thu, 09 Nov 2006 13:55:00 +0000

As I mentioned in my previous post, I'm giving away Vanessa at her civil partnership ceremony on Saturday 18th; this has engendered no small amount of panic as for some time I've been without breasts. They split.

But I've only been out once since March so I've been in no great rush to get new ones. Mind you time marches on and I was beginning to get nervous about not having ordered new boobies.

So yesterday I followed up on Vanessa'a advice and checked out amoena.co.uk. Not to bore you too much, I went for the Classic Contact ones and thought £115 wasn't too bad 'til I got to the ordering page (you have to email them and they provide you with access) and discovered the cost was per boob! What sold them was they are self-adhesive. You see, my last ones spilt and I have half a half-baked idea it was using adhesive that caused them to spilt. That or Tranformation's "cheap 'n shoddy" policy has been at work again.

Anyhows, a few phone calls later (they are really helpful) and they knew the boobs were for me, I had them ordered and they arrived at the office this morning, so I signed for them in front of a prospective client. And yes, they were in plain packaging... as promised.

I went for a C cup and am now wondering if I've gone a bit over the top! Never mind, just have to be bold as brass. Each one comes in its own carry case, complete with instructions and cleaning fluids etc. Total cost £245.73. But they are the Rolls-Royce of silicone tits. I understand they can be used with hairy chests, but I'll have to read the destructions first. Well you know, if I'm lazy and don't wax I need to know if they stick to anything.

OK, next things already on order are an evening dress and matching shoes for the evening dinner and cabaret, but you're not going to find out about those until after the event - a girl has to have a few surprises up her sleeve...

Life Update

Rachel — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 13:12:00 +0000

Hit the half century yesterday
No longer work from home
As a result, reclaimed evening and weekend time for family
Office hours spent working, not dipping into TG sites and blogs (much)
Went out a couple of weeks ago to the TV chix PP night - long overdue
Giving away my best T-Friend at her civil partnership ceremony in 2 weeks
Doing it as Rachel
Need to do some serious shopping for outfits

That's all folks!

National Poetry Day 2006 - Theme: Identity

Rachel — Thu, 05 Oct 2006 08:38:00 +0000

There was a transvestite from Lincoln
Who luv'd to dress up with pink on

He did it with flair
But tripped and fell down the stair

At which point his wife
Got a monk on

National Poetry Day 2006 - Theme: Identity

GCSE Results

Rachel — Thu, 24 Aug 2006 13:22:00 +0000

Not mine, silly!

My eldest picked up hers today: 2 A*, 5 A and 2B. Results she deserves for all the hard work she's put in. Must admit I didn't think she'd do so well, and was concerned she was working too hard, but I'm very proud of her.

She's very special, both of them are.

Discoveries

Rachel — Sun, 20 Aug 2006 17:19:00 +0000

It was just an ordinary Friday night like any other, but little did I know what discoveries lay ahead...

Out for drink down the boozer, with a mate, I discovered Clipper IPA tastes like shite.

And it was only because afterwards we wandered across the road that I discovered "Melone mit Wodka" by Back is heavenly. I had no idea I was drinking vodka distilled with melons; it was more like schnapps, Archers but without the cloying sweetness. Amazing stuff, bought a bottle at about 14 quid. It ain't gonna last very long. :)

More Vanity

Rachel — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 22:18:00 +0000

Could play for hours!

Celebrity lookalikes...

Rachel — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 22:00:00 +0000

Miss K is responsible for this...

MAC Insult

Rachel — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 17:05:00 +0000

Oooh, has MAC Cosmetics upset part of their customer base?

Wonder if someone is going to get fired over this...

Smokey Eyes Video

Rachel — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 16:19:00 +0000

Came across this while looking for stuff on CSS. I love serendipity!

www.videojug.com/film/how-to-create-a-smoky-eye-effect

Progress Me Thinks

Rachel — Tue, 15 Aug 2006 09:36:00 +0000

Let me set the scene for those of you who aren't familiar with my TG situation.

Married 27yrs - in a few days time. My wife has known I'm TV for 26 years, I told her. She doesn't want to see me as Rachel, but is very supportive of me going out (since 1997 anyway).

She has never wanted to meet other TG girls or their partners.

Now my two daughters are away for the week and Vanessa (a TS friend) is working just down the road for a couple of weeks. So I decided to ask my wife if Vanessa could come over for a meal. Bless her she didn't freak, but I had to reassure her I wasn't going to change into Rachel, or talk in a squeaky voice. And she's agreed to it.

Vanessa comes over on Thursday evening. I'll let you know if it works out or turns into a complete disaster. Tomorrow evening we're off to see some mutual TG friends locally, but unfortunately I won't be able to go as Rachel. :(

The Ultimate Trannie Digital Camera?

Rachel — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 11:11:00 +0000

I've been agonising over the right digital camera for nearly a year now - and it hasn't been easy I can tell you.

First of all I set my mind on a Nikon D70 and then the D70s came out. After that I ummed and ahhed about the price, as I wasn't quick enough to pick up the D70 bargains.

After that I thought about the Canon 350D, but that stupid thing called brand loyalty got in the way. More megapixels (8 point something) but it wasn't a Nikon. Stupid, I know, but there were sentimental baggage reasons attached.

A while later I chatted with a retired Master Photographer friend of the family, and he'd gone for the Nikon D50. He said there was plenty of functionality with the D50, and he probably didn't need the "extras" on the D70s.

I did even pop into the local camera store and have a play with the D50 - and fell in love with the smooth action and fast picture-taking ability. But the shop didn't recommend the 70-300mm Nikkor lens, because it didn't have a macro facility. They suggested the Sigma equivalent, but this was more your Lada to Nikon's Rolls-Royce in terms of smoothness of operation. So I went away undecided as to what to do.

Also, my wife was saying I'd never use it what with having to carry around two lenses, it was bulky so I wouldn't take it out very often etc. etc.. And I had a sneaking suspicion she'd be right. More indecision.

In the meantime, my wife had been wanting a small digital camera and had been her usual thorough self checking out Internet reviews. She came to the conclusion the Fuji Finepix F10 was the camera for her. One of her main reasons was the good reviews and the point that the delay time for taking pictures was significantly better than the rest in class.

Come Christmas I bought it for her (£199 inc. VAT) - it was a complete surprise and she's very chuffed with it. Since then I 've been borrowing it quite frequently. It fits neatly on a belt in a hama carrycase and at 92 x 58 x 27 mm(3.6 x 2.3 x 1.1 in) and 200 g (7.1 oz) it'll fit inconspicuously into the smallest of handbags (trannie points scored).

It's this experience that's finally convinced me to go for it's later model sister the Fuji Finepix F30, which is slightly smaller! One of the major reasons was the new ISO 3200 capability, which should mean being able to take pictures in low light (nightclubs and other dim and dingy venues trannies seem to frequent) more trannie points. Another is the 580 pics per battery charge - yet more trannie points. Have to say I thought I'd prefer a camera that could take NiCad rechargeables as I've been used to in the past, but having used the F10 on holiday for a week I'm converted to inbuilt power sources, even if it means being reliant on the manufacturer's camera charger.

I still don't like camera software for transferring images to PC so the USB 2 lead works a treat for me.

How much? It depends where you shop. PC World want £279 inc. VAT or from their business site £180 plus VAT plus £11 odd for postage. Amazon want £279 for the camera (don't know what they charge for postage) but I chose Micro Warehouse (part of dixons) at £217.38 including VAT and postage. Hopefully it'll be here in the next few days...

Some product features:

Real Photo Processor and new Super CCD HR VI
ISO 3200 sensitivity at full resolution
6.3 million pixels
3.0x optical zoom
Long-life battery (up to 500 shots)
VGA movie capture of 30 frames per second with sound
PictBridge ™ compatible for direct printing without a PC
Quick response times (0.01 second shutter lag and 1.4 second start-up)

The ultimate trannie digital camera? I think it comes close - it ticked enough of my boxes.

Is the UK TG "Community" hard done by?

Rachel — Fri, 11 Aug 2006 08:03:00 +0000

It's all relative, I suppose. Well, it's a good get-out clause when a million other things need to be done - so no long discourse. Not that I'd be motivated to write one anyway, regardless of time. That one can be left to the more politically active TGs among us.

But here's a bit of perspective which may make us feel more positive about what it's like to be TG gifted here in blighty.

African Drag Queen in London