It all started less than a week ago when I checked out the Transmission website, which has been dormant for quite a while.
I never did get to any of their monthly club nights even though I promised myself I would. It definitely had a buzz about it and I was more than a little disappointed when I heard of its demise.
So I guess I keep coming back just to make sure there hasn’t been a re-launch. This time round I spotted something on the ‘latest news’ page. An ad from a female fashion photographer wanting to photograph transvestites and drag queens for an art project. Sounded quite interesting so I dropped her an email.
The long and short of it was I drove down to London yesterday to have a photoshoot with her. A photoshoot with a bit of a difference – for me anyway. First off, Marta wanted shots of me in the same location (it turned out to be a cafe in Brick Lane) in male and female mode.
I was going to have to think on my feet, because I wasn’t sure about her suggestion that I could change in the cafe’s loos. Back peddling a bit, it was a nightmare finding parking and I was half-an-hour late for our 3pm meeting, which meant the light was failing fast.
We did find a cafe, went in, and although they hadn’t opened yet Marta persuaded the woman behind the bar to let us use the seats by the window – we needed all the light we could get. Marta got her shots of me in male mode first off, then I took my bag downstairs to the loos.
Thinking the lesser of the two evils would be the Ladies to change in and do my make-up I set to. I used the washbasin, which fortunately had a good-sized mirror, but the light was pretty grim.
Just as I started to apply foundation a very pretty, long-haired blonde girl walked in and got the shock of her life. Asking one of those really obvious questions to which she knew the answer to almost before the words left her lips, she asked me if I was putting make-up on, duh.
Quickly explaining there was a photographer upstairs waiting to take some shots of me in a dress she smiled and said, “Cool.” And then carried on. Nice one.
I threw the slap on praying I hadn’t done too bad a job it, then shut the cubicle door and got changed. In under half-an-hour I was ready and returned to the ground floor.
It was quite enjoyable sitting in the window watching people looking at me as they passed, and for once I was chuffed not to have spotted a single look of recognition of me as a guy. Did I say it was getting dark?
Just for the camera geeks, Marta was using a HasselBlad 500c. Unfortunately, she’d chosen colour film and I’d loved to have seen black and white shots, but never mind. She also took a few with a poloroid and finally a Canon 20D.
We didn’t have much time where light was concerned with the Hasselbladd, so she didn’t waste it, and we were soon on our way. I was going to a muggle meeting discussing issues about identity afterwards and suggested Marta could come too if she wanted to, and she agreed.
We walked to the car park to get rid of my bag then made our way back to Bishopgate, with Marta using the digital camera to get more shots of me in the street. We were looking for Bishopsgate Churchyard. If you ever need to find it allow an extra hour, it’s buried deep in high-rise territory. The meeting was taking place at the Bath-House restaurant, but we’d arrived half-an-hour before they were officially open, so we went for a short walk.
Marta wanted to know why they didn’t just offer us a drink and let us wait there. I explained the UK licencing laws, which she found quite amusing as she wasn’t aware of the equivalent Polish laws. Anyhoos, we wondered around the churchyard, Marta taking yet more pictures before we found a seat and she told me abit more about what she’s doing here in London.
Having got a BA (or the equivalent) in photography she came to London two months ago to start an MA in Photography. She’d already got to know transvestites and drag Queens in Poland (where they have a very much harder time) and she has this desire to put together an exhibition to be displayed hopefully in London and Germany. It’s going to take about a year to complete, and I’m one of the first few she’s photographed. She’s aiming to shoot a collection of 100 TG people so she’s looking to shoot two people per week. I’m guessing she has a fascination for the TG community and was very easy to get on with, in no small part due to her excellent english-speaking skills.
We returned to the restaurant, settled down and ordered drinks. Shortly after that, Michelle Newell, the organiser of the evening, arrived and introduced herself. People started drifting in and most people introduced themselves to me and didn’t bat an eyelid. Once the guest speaker, Clive Carswell, a psychoanalyst and counsellor, arrived the meeting started.
Clive talked from a psychoanalytical perspective about the role of mirroring from primary care givers in early childhood development and how a failure of this process leads to narcissistic injury and the development of a false self in order to meet the needs of others and prevent the annihilation of the true self. Fortunately, he explained the jargon as he went along and proved very interesting.
Debate was quite lively and after a while a split into groups to carry out little exercises. I think what most of us got froom this was that we didn’t fit into neat little psychological category, but were a mixture of personality types.
Marta had to leave about 8.30pm as she had an early morning photoshoot as part of her MA work. She’s going to send me copies of the photos, which I’m really looking forward to.
After the meeting finished quite a few of us stayed on chatting, and I answered quite a few questions about who I am, but it was all in a very relaxed atmosphere – and the women (the men never actually spoke to me directly, other than Clive) seemed totally unphased. And I got to ask them questions I ordinarily wouldn’t have the cheek to ask.
It really was a wonderful evening, and Michelle does a great job of hosting these events. I’d love to come to some others, but London is a fair way for me to come, but we’ll see.
I’ll just finish off by saying if you feel you’d like to volunteer to act as a model for Marta drop her an email at marta [dot] gornicka [at] gme [dot] de – she’d love to hear from you.
The only down side of the whole day was the blisters I picked up – lovely shoes, but not suitable for walking round London in!