Time to play catch up. I told my two daughters about Alex.
Like others I’ve told it was a bit of an anti-climax, but some readers will no doubt understand the anxiety that feeds on itself before such an announcement.
But, of course, I needn’t have worried. Told the eldest first, only because I couldn’t get them both together when my wife was out – see she didn’t want me to tell them. My concern was that they already knew as a result of things I’ve blogged about years ago, but not going to repeat myself.
I called the eldest downstairs to have a chat and just came straight out with it. She was cool – was glad I wasn’t going to dress in the house and that was pretty much it. I explained that I’d tell my wife that I’d told her after I’d told the youngest, as I hadn’t said anything to my wife about telling our daughters, as I knew she wouldn’t be pleased.
The next day I told the youngest. She said, “Wow, that’s cool,” and wanted to know where I bought my clothes and whether she could see a photo of me. Later she said she’d skip the photo. She also agreed men’s clothes were boring, women’s being much more fun.
I doubt either of then will be going to BNO with me, but at least I won’t have to fib about where I am now. And that was probably the greatest motivation for me to come out to them.
And my wife wasn’t too miffed, that or she’s good at keeping it to herself.
A wonderful story, happy it went so well.
Yay!
Well done Alex! That must be a relief for you.
What a result! No averse reactions. You have two cool kids there, so you must have brought them up right. I am so pleased for you.
Having to lie or disguise what I was doing was terrible. If I may give advice ( you’re gonna get it anyway), just take things very slowly so that it sinks into their minds. When I mention the subject to my kids now and again I get a wry smile and they move on quickly to another topic.So they accept it but don’t want to be constantly reminded of it.
It takes a lot of balls to tell your kids so you should celebrate.
I hope your partner will accept that what you’ve done is for the best.
Well done girl!
Gabby
xx
TBH, Gabby, from experience with friends it just doesn’t come up in conversation. OK, with my children the difference is that I now tell them where I’m going like, “I’m off down to Kettering and will be back tomorrow.” What I don’t say is, “I’m going to see Vanessa, and we’ll be going to BNO, I’ll be back tomorrow.”
And as for taking it easy, I’m flat on my back. Unless they want questions answered or raise the subject in any other way I don’t feel the need to “bang on” about it.
I’m not a “bible thumping zealot” and I’m sure my girls appreciate that. Just as long as I get my space I’m a happy bunny. But, for sure, this revelation has made life a lot easier. :)
Thats great news. Glad they were so accepting about the whole thing
So glad you dont have to stress over this now Alex. :o)
@Joanna Like anyone else I’ve ever told it seems to be business as usual and it doesn’t get mentioned after the telling. Just hope if they’ve any questions they’ll com out with them. Everything seems OK, though. :)
@Sophie It’s definitely a weight off my mind.
Ooo, I missed this post (being on holiday).
Wow, you came out to them and (double) wow they didn’t give a hoot. Top result. :-)
> I doubt either of then will be going to BNO
True, although there’s that risk they’d out glam you and that would never do :-D
That’s a big step hon, I’m so glad it worked out well for you!
How long did you agonize before telling them?
You should be very proud and realise your success at raising 2 accepting human beings.
Double congrats x
Wow, congrats on the coming out love! You must feel a tremendous feeling of freedom right now!
Hugs,
Vanessa
@Lynn Yes good point! They’d have no probs outglamming me :) I have two very pretty girls, even if I do say so myself. In fact, now that I think about it, they’re the two prettiest girls in the whole wide world – and yes, I’m biased.
@Vanessa It was beginning to nag more heavily at me during the past year or so.
You are really decieving yourselves here. When I was 15 my father told me this. It was horrific. Children don’t visibly react because they cannot. It ruined my life.
@Jenny I’m sorry that you had an adverse reaction to your father’s revelation, but the implication that this would be the case for all or even most children, I believe, would be very wide of the mark.
However, if there is any supported evidence for your assertion, other than your particular case, I would be very interested in finding out more.
@ Everyone Unfortunately, for transgendered people, it seems that everyone else’s feelings appear to be more important. And let’s face it, how many transgendered people have tried to hide the fact, and what of the damage to their mental health as a result?
These are very serious issues and there are no easy answers. But one thing I’m certain of is that dialogue needs to be opened up and remain open for any sort of positive outcomes to happen.
Alex
Thanks for making this sound so easy.
I know one day I will need to do this.
(come out to my girls)
well done you.
Sandra
XX
@Sandra TBH, it wasn’t easy at all. I turned it over in my mind for about a year. You see, my wife didn’t want me to say anything which I had to weigh against my feelings about lying to the children as to my whereabouts. So it wasn’t easy at all. All I can say is it turned out to be the right thing for me to do. On the other hand, if my girls had taken it badly I still think it would have been the right thing to do as in I would no longer be lying about my whereabouts. I think I could have cope with any disapproval.
So, once again, I can’t stress enough that it’s down to each individual and what might be right for one may not be so for another.
Good luck with whatever you decide, Sandra.