Back with a bang
Having had a short but relaxing holiday this past week I seem to have disturbed the "calm" of the "mill pond" in certain corners of the blogosphere.
Let me explain. Becky, today, mentions her "Unhealthy obession" with people "cheating the system". But before we go any further please click on the previous link and read what she said, as I do not want to be accused, however unintentionally, of twisting her words.
Back again?
As you will have read, I disagreed with the majority of contributors, because for me it's not an issue should someone find it necessary to hide or mispresent their physical appearance. Although, agreeing with Becky, using someone else's images, model or private individual, is a matter I do have serious issues with (not mentioned in my comments on Becky's blog). But the big "sticking point" has been (in my view) over how Becky reacts to these situations.
Accordingly, I made my point about the "Lana" affair. Namely, that there was a kinder, more considerate way of getting Lana to remove the "fake" images. A point I would have made at the time, but for an instinct that it would not be received well by Becky (yes, I can be a wimp on occasion). But this time I said, "Bollocks to popularity."
Now I want to take a look at Becky's response, which you've already read.
"I didn't really want to dredge all that up again Rachel, you've got your own opinion on it and that's fine."
Yes, and I've just expressed it on Becky's blog.
"I still stand by my actions that day and I'd do it the same again if it happened tomorrow. It might have been the "kinder course", but it was the right course."
I'm assuming Becky means 'it might not have been the "kinder course"' as opposed to "it might have been the "kinder course"".
But more importantly, what really disturbs me is the statement that, "but it was the right course". As in there was only one "right course", and all others would be, by implication, the wrong ones.
Sorry, but give me kindness, consideration and sympathy every time over being "right". No, in my opinion, there was a choice about how to achieve the "end" of having Lana remove the pictures, and it would have done no harm to have given her a warning, and a choice, before exposing her because she wouldn't remove the images.
I developed an impression of Lana, over time, as someone who is caring, is dealing with a number of significant issues, and wanted to fit in with the TG community. She seemed to want support and gave it to others on occasion. My guess is also that she was very unhappy about her physical appearance, and inadvisedly took someone else's pictures in an attempt to make herself feel better, probably thinking that being in New Zealand would mean there was no danger of her being seen "in the flesh".
Moving on...
"I disagree with your point about people gettting upset about things being unfair. It's got fuck-all to do with my improving own self esteem."
I re-read what I wrote, and should have said: 'People should get working on their own self-esteem so that when they see these pics, true or false, they don't get upset about them.' So apologies for that, Becky.
"And I take a different approach to life being unfair: I try to make it unfair for the person making it unfair for me.
For example: it's unfair to criticise me on my own blog about things that happened months ago. So I'll point that out to you, and delete any future messages on the subject. That's being quite unfair back."
Becky, the principles haven't changed just because events took place "months ago". It's not unfair to criticise. OK, unconstructive criticism is a waste of space, but I did offer a constructive alternative when disagreeing with your actions, and IMO the comments were relevant, because the possiblity of a similiar situation appeared to be arising, and this time I wasn't going to "tow the party line". Accept there are different opinions, and if someone disagrees with you and says why, and provides an alternative suggestion try not to throw your dummy out of the pram.
Just a suggestion - take it or leave it.
One of the reasons I stopped frequenting the forums and groups was the lack of toleration for differing views, and if Becky's Web is going to be a place where dummies are going to be spat out left, right and centre over issues like this then there are plenty of other blogs to visit.
Ho hum...
Let me explain. Becky, today, mentions her "Unhealthy obession" with people "cheating the system". But before we go any further please click on the previous link and read what she said, as I do not want to be accused, however unintentionally, of twisting her words.
Back again?
As you will have read, I disagreed with the majority of contributors, because for me it's not an issue should someone find it necessary to hide or mispresent their physical appearance. Although, agreeing with Becky, using someone else's images, model or private individual, is a matter I do have serious issues with (not mentioned in my comments on Becky's blog). But the big "sticking point" has been (in my view) over how Becky reacts to these situations.
Accordingly, I made my point about the "Lana" affair. Namely, that there was a kinder, more considerate way of getting Lana to remove the "fake" images. A point I would have made at the time, but for an instinct that it would not be received well by Becky (yes, I can be a wimp on occasion). But this time I said, "Bollocks to popularity."
Now I want to take a look at Becky's response, which you've already read.
"I didn't really want to dredge all that up again Rachel, you've got your own opinion on it and that's fine."
Yes, and I've just expressed it on Becky's blog.
"I still stand by my actions that day and I'd do it the same again if it happened tomorrow. It might have been the "kinder course", but it was the right course."
I'm assuming Becky means 'it might not have been the "kinder course"' as opposed to "it might have been the "kinder course"".
But more importantly, what really disturbs me is the statement that, "but it was the right course". As in there was only one "right course", and all others would be, by implication, the wrong ones.
Sorry, but give me kindness, consideration and sympathy every time over being "right". No, in my opinion, there was a choice about how to achieve the "end" of having Lana remove the pictures, and it would have done no harm to have given her a warning, and a choice, before exposing her because she wouldn't remove the images.
I developed an impression of Lana, over time, as someone who is caring, is dealing with a number of significant issues, and wanted to fit in with the TG community. She seemed to want support and gave it to others on occasion. My guess is also that she was very unhappy about her physical appearance, and inadvisedly took someone else's pictures in an attempt to make herself feel better, probably thinking that being in New Zealand would mean there was no danger of her being seen "in the flesh".
Moving on...
"I disagree with your point about people gettting upset about things being unfair. It's got fuck-all to do with my improving own self esteem."
I re-read what I wrote, and should have said: 'People should get working on their own self-esteem so that when they see these pics, true or false, they don't get upset about them.' So apologies for that, Becky.
"And I take a different approach to life being unfair: I try to make it unfair for the person making it unfair for me.
For example: it's unfair to criticise me on my own blog about things that happened months ago. So I'll point that out to you, and delete any future messages on the subject. That's being quite unfair back."
Becky, the principles haven't changed just because events took place "months ago". It's not unfair to criticise. OK, unconstructive criticism is a waste of space, but I did offer a constructive alternative when disagreeing with your actions, and IMO the comments were relevant, because the possiblity of a similiar situation appeared to be arising, and this time I wasn't going to "tow the party line". Accept there are different opinions, and if someone disagrees with you and says why, and provides an alternative suggestion try not to throw your dummy out of the pram.
Just a suggestion - take it or leave it.
One of the reasons I stopped frequenting the forums and groups was the lack of toleration for differing views, and if Becky's Web is going to be a place where dummies are going to be spat out left, right and centre over issues like this then there are plenty of other blogs to visit.
Ho hum...
