Funny Feelings

Feeling in a funny mood tonight.

I suppose it kicked off with going out as a family tonight - a very rare event in this household and it's me whose usually the missing element.

We dropped our eldest daughter off at her dancing class and popped round to see an acquaintance whose just blagged a grant for converting some outbuildings into a photographic studio. Amazing what you can get into such a place - bathroom complete with bidet, shower and all the usual acoutrements. Now how did that slide past the grant funders?

Funny feeling no.1. I used to live in the area as a teenager, and going back into a familiar property, older, more lived in, and with tons more character than our "Executive" home left me with a feeling that I'm missing something. I'm sure this sense will pass.

From there we drove across town to Debenhams who were having a late night sale 'til 10pm and my eldest daughter had mentioned there might be the odd smartish jacket I'd be interested in. More to the point probably would be my wife's interest in getting me out of some of my more seasoned clothes. Nothing fitted well enough to justify the cash.

Although there was a leather belt that would have come in handy as I'm losing weight what with taking the dog out for regular walks now. But I was dissuaded from buying it (£12.00) because "we've come out to buy a jacket/coat". Inside I have to admit to being pissed off at this attitude, but because I didn't have my wallet with me I let it ride. Perhaps more pissed off, in truth, at my willingness to give in when it was something that would be very useful right now, and in a style I really liked. Hence funny feeling no.2. BTW, I'm minded to go out tomorrow and buy it anyway - what a f*cking waste of petrol.

Got home, made a cuppa, and plonked myself down in front of the telly. I'm not a great watcher of the box, and "The Apprentice" has never overwhelmed me with enthusiasm for corporate life and the politics that go with it. And even less attractive when a group of adults are in competition to become Alan Sugar's sidekick.

But what did interest me was a "post-mortem" programme about the latest person to be fired - someone called Jo who over the course of the programme, it became clear, put her own values above the ambition to be AS's sidekick. Someone who said what she felt, because her values actually meant something to her, and I'll bet she knew exactly what she was doing when she wouldn't toe the team line.

It sort of got me reflecting on my own experiences. I did 5 years with a big firm of corporate lawyers in the 80's and whilst I got a real buzz from the job I couldn't hack the politics and had a few run-ins with jumped up solicitors when I wouldn't back down over issues that were politically motivated. Fortunately, the senior department partner I worked under had seen it all before and I rarely came worse off, because I think he knew I wasn't there to score political points.

So I guess funny feeling no.3 came out of empathy for how Jo behaved. BTW, I found it amusing that Quentin Willson also featured as a pundit on the programme - Mr. Sincerity himself. Anyone remember a certain merc that had it's electronic milometer "turned backed"?

Funny feeling no.4 has been brewing for a while now. Some will know of Vanessa, a TS friend of about five years. We talk on the phone 2 or 3 times a week although lately with her moving around in her job as a locum conveyancer we get less opportunity for long chats. But I've been feeling less like taking Rachel out to social events and more like seeing Vanessa and just the two of us enjoying a meal out or going shopping . But if truth be known we don't get many opportunities for that due to my circumstances. I don't know what it is. Even at my age I still enjoy throwing on the glad rags and partying, but I haven't felt the urge or enthusiasm for it lately.

But another side of me says the old body clock is ticking and I only have a few more years to glam up and do that - just feeling it's all a bit weird, unsettling slightly. Difficult to describe...

There is a funny feeling no.5, but I can't make up my mind what to do about it so I'm thinking on about that one.

OK, if you got to the end of this apologises for a lack of point to it all.

John Travolta Turns Transvestite

The Sydney Morning Herald announces: "To our burgeoning transvestites-in-films file we now add John Travolta, set to return to musicals as Edna Turnblad in a film version of Hairspray, a role most famously played in 1988 by the now-dead trannie Divine."

Curious to note from other sources Travolta turned down the part of J R Ewing in a film adaptation of "Dallas". Obviously the role of a transvestite turned out to be more appealing to him - interesting...

Inccidently, it's John Travolta's first role in a movie musical since Grease 28 years ago.

And finally, do you think there's any chance of seeing who else the SMH have in their "burgeoning transvestites-in-films file"? Just a thought. And who'd have thought we were worthy of a file all to ourselves, or is it just a sub-section of the perverts file? Who knows, who cares?

Disaster Strikes the Bra and Boob Department!

How often is it I get dressed at home? Can't really remember the last time to be honest as I'm more a 'going out' type of 'girl'.

But today what with my wife going out to work for the morning and not back 'til after lunch I decided to go for it - yes, I am a little bit stressed and you know how it is - it helps. Oh, and for those that don't know me, my wife doesn't want to see me dressed but supports me when I want to go out. So if I dress at home it's always when she's not here.

Pulling out the suitcase from under the bed and unlocking it I was looking forward to the 3 hours ahead. Out came the skirt, top, undies, tights and shoes - and then the breast forms. Opened the box stuck my hand in to take them out and got my hands covered in sticky stuff. Closer inspection revealed a huge split from just above the nipple heading south-west to the bottom edge of the breast, and then it had split along the bottom edge.

Truly buggered I'd say.

Have looked at Doreen's Fashions website (otherwise known as Translife) and seen something called a Nu-Bra but not sure if they take the place of proper breast forms, which are just over twice the price - but as we all know it's best to have the right tools for the job so this will take a bit of investigating.

May be I shouldn't complain as my breasts have lasted nine years. On the other hand, I can't help wondering if the medical spray I've used in the last year or two, enabling me to go without wearing a bra, has eation away at the surface of the breast form, which I can now see is very thin.

Have any other 'girls' got any views or experience of this?

What's more annoying is my bra badly needs replacing, bit I now have nothing to shove in a new one when trying it on for fit. Mind you, I could get all adventurous and go for a B cup pair of breasts and then find a bra to fit. Have to say, I did like my old A cup fillets, and the feel of the weight when not wearing a bra was fantastic. Can't help thinking a B cup may be a bit too heavy.

Decisions, decisions.

Of course, this couldn't have come at a worse time as I am due to go for lunch with Vanessa in Nottingham sometime this week, and now I have to organise a new pair of tits and a new bra. Think we may have to skip lunch and do a bit of lunchtime shopping instead.

Life's never simple, is it? Ho hum.